There are lots of fun ways to spice up your sex life and find out what turns you on, from playing with sex toys For try new positions in bed. If you’re looking for another technique to turn up the heat, you may want to explore the edge, the process of intentionally prolonging your orgasm, to create steamy tension and help you explore the limits of your sexual arousal.
“Edging often refers to bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm multiple times, but not allowing yourself to go over the edge,” he says. Jess O’Reilly, PhDresident sexologist and sexual expert astroglide. “The idea is that the buildup of tension can lead to a more intense and pleasurable release when you finally reach orgasm,” he explains.
Similar to practices like tantric sexThe edging allows you to tune in to your sexual energy and be more aware of what is going on in your body. Having an orgasm is not the only way to experience pleasure, of course, but the edge can be a delicious way to improve foreplay or just take your arousal to new heights. The borders can also be used in a perverted context With a partner; for example, during BDSM, power playor as a form of orgasm control, says O’Reilly.
If you’re curious about trying the edge alone or with another person, here’s how it works, whether or not it can lead to stronger orgasms, and how to try it out safely, according to sex experts.
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What is the border and how does it work?
Ann Russo, LCSW, says the edge involves “building to orgasm” and then slowing down or taking breaks before you or your partner climax. The process, sometimes called “surfing” or “peaking,” can increase blood flow to the genitals to enhance arousal. “This can create a lot of sexual tension and arousal, which can lead to a really intense and pleasurable orgasm,” Russo explains. “It’s like a roller coaster for your body.”
you could try to skirt while masturbating or having your partner tease you during sex. The tension building can last as long as you want, and orgasm doesn’t even have to be the goal or end result. “Edging is sometimes done to intensify an orgasm by making it feel more powerful, while others use it to deny gratification,” she says. Lisa Lawless, PhDsexual wellness expert and executive director of Holistic Wisdom.
The edge can also help you be more present during sex. “With the edge, you’re building more self-awareness around your body and its orgasmic states,” he says. Marla Renee Stewart, MAsexologist and resident sex expert at lovers. “You can be more present in your body, understand how your breath contributes to orgasm, and ultimately mentally register what touches feel good to bring your body to the brink of orgasm.”
Can edging lead to better orgasms?
Sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and orgasm isn’t necessarily accessible to everyone. That being said, many experts believe that the edges can potentially lead to better sex and stronger orgasms, if that’s your thing. “Neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin) and hormones (testosterone and estrogen) are released, increasing pleasure and desire,” says Lawless. These effects, combined with muscle contractions in the body, hot anticipation, and delayed gratification can make Big O feel more amplified.
However, the borders may not be suitable for everyone. “Edging can go either way when it comes to orgasms; some people report that they feel stronger orgasms, while others report disappointment with the type of orgasm they receive,” explains Stewart. “It all depends on your state of mind, behavior, breathing, and other factors that can enhance or suppress your orgasmic state.”
Lawless adds that in some cases, the edge can make it difficult to orgasm. “For some people, this provides prolonged pleasure, greater sexual resistance and more intense orgasms, while in others, it can feel frustrating and make orgasm difficult to achieve after too long a period has passed,” she says. Like any sexual preference, your body is unique, so if you’re not getting pleasure from the edge, that’s perfectly fine.
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How to test the edge alone or with a partner
If you’re new to edging, trying it out on your own first can make the process less intimidating. “You might get aroused (with your hands, toys, etc.), but then stop or slow down when you feel like you’re about to climax,” says O’Reilly. “Breathe deeply and slowly as you move to a less stimulating technique or area until the urge to orgasm is gone, and feel free to repeat this process a few times.”
You may also indulge in a method O’Reilly calls “bordering,” in which you imagine a number scale (zero is no arousal, 10 is orgasm), then ramp your arousal back and forth between different numbers until you reach your peak. Maximum point. “Of course, you can’t perfectly gauge arousal levels and it doesn’t have to be an incremental climb,” O’Reilly explains. “Experiment with different levels and approaches to see what works for you.”
When practicing contact with a partner, O’Reilly suggests paying attention to their physical and verbal cues and having fun with it. “You can pleasure your partner until they give you a cue that orgasm is about to happen…at this point, you can stop, slow down, or move on to a different type of stimulation,” says O’Reilly. “Then bring them back to the brink of orgasm and repeat several times.”
The bottom line: Edging can be a sexy way to spice up your sex life and amplify your orgasms. But if it doesn’t turn you on, that’s okay too. Setting clear boundaries, consent, and safety are key when attempting any new sexual movement, so you’ll want to chat with your partner beforehand or maybe see a sex therapist to feel more comfortable. When you’re ready to try the edge, remember to relax, take breaks when you need to, and always make sure you’re comfortable and safe.
