Well, that explains it. Now we know why we haven’t been seeing much of the Duchess of Sussex lately. She’s clearly been working on a little makeover. Have some time for me. Invest in a little self-care, as the young say.
Gone is the messy bun and fresh-faced, fresh-off-the-yoga-mat Meghan.
In her place is a razor-sharp, shiny duchess, all prepped and plumped as if she’s been doused in double cream, rolled in cashmere and infused with 24-karat fab.
She’s channeling Kim Kardashian, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Michelle Obama.
Sexy but strong, independent, confident, uncompromising. As my daughter would say, she came to kill.
Now we know why we haven’t been seeing much of the Duchess of Sussex lately. She’s clearly been working on a little makeover.
Princess Diana had her ‘revenge dress’ on – this is a revenge makeover. Meghan is back, and she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. It’s no coincidence, I’m sure, that she chose to resurface so close to the Coronation. She won’t come, but she might as well come.
Meghan is many things, but she’s not stupid. She knows the power of an image and the reach of social networks. She can do just as much damage to her in-laws from her backyard swing in Montecito as from a seat in Westminster Abbey. Maybe more.
It is a nightmare for the Palace, of course. Especially since there will inevitably be more to come.
In addition to the new look, we’ve had additional footage of the Duke and Duchess playing in a game of basketball, caught ‘off guard’ (yeah right) on a ‘kissing cam’.
The message is loud and clear: as everyone prepares to don old moth-eaten robes and perform some arcane ritual, we’re here in the land of the free, all cool, spontaneous, and modern.
They’ll no doubt be cooking up something special for the big day, which also happens to be Archie’s fourth birthday. A lovely picture, perhaps, of Meghan and the children in California, bringing Harry back to dusty old London as he prepares to do his duty to the King and his father. There won’t be a dry eye on Twitter.
However, I can’t help but welcome this new Meghan.
Well, maybe not welcoming him, exactly, but his appearance feels like a relief.
Meghan and Harry have tried to strengthen themselves by taking down the rest of the royal family. It’s a toxic kind of success.
I feel like we’re finally starting to see the real Duchess, that this laser-focused power player may be more authentic than the person we Brits were introduced to when Prince Harry first introduced her to the world. From the beginning I had the feeling that she was just playing the part of the happy-go-lucky American breathing fresh air in a stale old institution. All that spontaneity seemed to have a touch of artifice to it, as if she was trying to be what she thought we wanted her to be, instead of being herself.
Meghan’s chic new look is more indicative of the person she really is: a highly ambitious woman who knows what she wants and is determined to get it, and who doesn’t enjoy being in the shadows.
Ambition is admirable, but not when it is at the expense of others. Meghan and Harry have tried to strengthen themselves by taking down the rest of the royal family. It’s a toxic kind of success.
Let’s face it, Meghan was never going to put up with playing second fiddle to the Princess of Wales, or anyone else. She maybe she didn’t think it through, or maybe she thought she could rewire the old place from the inside.
When it became clear that this was not possible, suddenly there was no more sun or rainbow.
The mask fell off and we saw the truth.
Bud Trans Row Beers
Mulvaney, who identifies as a woman, announced the partnership with Bud Light on April 1.
Bud Light sales have tanked since the company signed trans TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney to an awakened partnership with rival beer brands for the same amount.
Inevitably, this has been interpreted as ‘transphobia’, but it’s not, at least not to me.
The problem with Mulvaney is that the version of femininity she represents is clichéd to the point of insulting.
All she seems to do is wobble in pointy shoes and squeal with excitement as she comes within 20 paces of a lipstick.
Being a woman is more than bags and headbands.
Why am I tired as a dog?
As part of my efforts to avoid decrepitude, I have embarked on a new regimen. It involves walking the recommended 10,000 steps a day, approximately five miles. Wow, it’s exhausting: the other day my son discovered me tucked into bed at 8:30 p.m.
The one who really suffers though is poor Muffin, my Lhasa Apso. She’s more of a couch dog, you see, and she’s kind of small.
Having always been excited at the sight of lead, she now sinks back into her cushions, looking at me fearfully as if to say, ‘Really? Can’t we just walk around the block like we used to? Crazy English and dogs, huh?
It’s not just the crazy VAT on luxury items that discourages tourists from coming to the UK. The price of everything else, from food to taxis, is also insane.
Recently in Italy, I was chatting with the lady who runs my parents’ local restaurant. She loves taking her grandchildren on trips and visited London just before Christmas. She practically bankrupted her and she said it was practically impossible to get anywhere thanks to Sadiq Khan’s brilliant anti-trafficking schemes.
Next year he takes them to Antigua: cheaper, plus it doesn’t rain all the time.
This column likes to pride itself on tackling the tough questions.
Which is why I must disagree with new research suggesting that Britain’s most dipping biscuit is. . . Jaffa cake.
It’s not even a cookie to begin with: the clue is in the name.
Plus, it’s covered in chocolate, and what kind of lunatic likes chocolate in his tea?
Speaking of tea, why all the fuss about Twinings discontinuing their Lapsang Souchong blend? It’s the tea bag of last resort, the equivalent of the orange cream at the bottom of the Quality Street tin. Send it to the compost bin in history!
So Diane Abbott sent her fateful letter to the Observer twice from her private email address, apparently disproving her claim that it was “just a draft”. She suspects the truth is that she’s so blinded by identity politics that she didn’t think what she was saying was offensive. It’s a classic case of ‘unconscious bias’, and proof that it’s not just white people who are wrong about these things.
Idiot Virtue Signage Labor Policy #327: Children will receive lessons on how to respect women and girls as part of the national curriculum.
First of all, the sure way to get young people to do the opposite of what you want them to do is to make them part of a PSHE lesson.
Second, if you really want to end the abuse of women and girls, there’s a quick fix: block access to hardcore pornography online.
Do it, Sir Keir, and you’ll even have my vote.
Joe Biden has announced that he is running for a second term as President of the United States. Oh really? The man cannot tell the difference between the All Blacks and the Black and Tans. Do we really want your wrinkled old finger on the nuclear button?
Poor Ed Sheeran, in court once again for plagiarism accusations. He is accused of “borrowing” the tune from Marvin Gaye’s 1973 Motown classic Let’s Get It On.
Since all music these days is derivative, it seems unfair; Then again, I suppose having pockets as deep as yours might attract opportunists.
Maybe she should take up Diane Abbott’s defense: As a redhead, she could claim discrimination. It’s worth a punt.
Poor Ed Sheeran, in court once again for plagiarism accusations. He is accused of “borrowing” the tune from Marvin Gaye’s 1973 Motown classic Let’s Get It On.
Mattel has released the first Barbie doll with Down syndrome. I’m not sure how I feel about this. For one, the two Down’s girls I know, one of whom was in my daughter’s class at school, would have been delighted, I think.
On the other hand, this rebranding of Barbie as inclusive and empowering (the Barbie movie also opens in July) fits uncomfortably with the story of a doll who, more than any other, perpetrated stereotypes of skinny, white blondes with perky breasts and pointed fingers. . I remain to convince.
