- Weddings are loaded with traditions, and not all of them are the same.
- One of the worst has to be the cake cutting, where the couple cut a cake that you probably won’t eat.
- The sole purpose of a cake is the sustenance to power a Britney Spears mashup on the dance floor.
Weddings are about your guests.
Many married couples don’t even remember the details of their nuptials, as everything can seem a blur when you’re the one actually getting married. The guests, however, want to eat good food, drink good alcohol and dance. good music.
That’s why it’s so frustrating when the DJ stops playing “Hips Don’t Lie” to stop the process and have you focus your attention in some dimly lit corner of the room so you can watch your friends awkwardly cut a cake.
Couples: Stop doing this! The cake isn’t even in the top 10 desserts.
Who are we kidding? Cake is simply not a top-notch dessert. It is average at best.
There is too much variability with flavors, textures, and fillings. And cakes are the best dupes: something looks like vanilla and then it’s terrible coconut meringue, or a chocolate frosting exterior is actually a raspberry-filled interior that no one asked for.
Be creative! Frozen? Chocolate covered Oreos? Churros? Do it! Those are fantastic crowd-pleasing hit desserts, and guess what? No one stops the “Telephone” bridge to hand them out and you can snack on a churro while recreating the original Monster Ball choreography.
So the next time you get married, consider past the cake cutting and swap into a fun and portable dessert. Spare us the awkward spectacle and reward our taste buds for shelling out money to go to your place.